The Other Side Of The Tracks

Hospital

1.7.23

Tangles in her curls

no one cares,

I spend hours there

Combing her hair.

She smiles,

Listens to songs,

does not know 

her own survival

and where she belongs.

I'm calling the shots

like blanks in a gun

that trigger her breaths.

Will she come home?

No one has won.

Out of the windows

this world can't see,

this place to survive

around corners of death

between hallways and me.

My sister is peace

She's always known

her special limit,

my constant teacher

I'm saddened, I've grown.

Not leaving her yet

not here not now,

machines that beep

forever codes,

needing miracles 

somehow.

Finding solace and self care in some away time, I come back to to take care of my sister in the hospital.

I was told that I have to take care of myself, because who will take care of Halina if I'm not there...

I have grown up with her, we are sisters. She was born with special needs.

Halina knows nothing but love and remembers all the good in her life, she is my constant teacher, putting me in a place of looking at things differently, putting me in a place of love, and discarding layers of armor, future plans, buckets lists and solutions with a present moment of life's breath and a smile.

I'm not missing her yet, Im bringing her home, I don't want her or I to be alone.